And Then We Realized - It Isn't Easy

Well, well. I am here, posting for the purpose of desperation : "Why am I doing all of this?"

Allow me to explain a few events in my life since our "goal implementing" began, only 17 days ago!

1) A local family practice absolutely would not re-bill an incorrectly coded medical bill, and I, refusing to make a deal with the devil (those of you that live around here surely know who I am taking about) paid, out of pocket, a whopping balance.

2) My father passed. Who feels like working on a budget or eating plan when your heart hurts?!

3) We had a HUGE electricity bill. More than double (almost triple) what we had budgeted.

4) Some tests and lab work I had (at my new, wonderful Dr.) before Christmas were not fully covered by my insurance. Now, I am thankful these procedures were done and also thankful that my insurance covered most of it..after all, isn't that what we pay them for??? They did not, however, cover all of it leaving an amount to come out of the emergency fund.

5) We got a letter with our W-2 tax form at work stating the tax tables for 2010 have changed and we should be expecting to take home a lower gross pay.

All of this brought me to my dilemma. Why am I doing this?

It is NOT easy.

It is frustrating.

It feels never ending.

And somewhere, deep down, I think I LIKE to imagine that I am not in debt. I like to imagine that I am not unhealthy and most of all I like to imagine that problems will fix themselves.

This is not the case.

We are not in debt because we had a crazy spending problem. We are in debt due to a student loan problem. Can I get an "amen"?

I say that to explain that we do not have a lot of room to cut back in our budget. It isn't as though the money is there and we can change our behaviors to just solve the problem. We just have to dig, and dig hard. I did a lot of damage to my physical self. Simple as that. Things I put in my mouth were not healthy and exercising was not a priority.

So, sometimes, I find myself getting really frustrated and really annoyed at the fact that I cannot fix everything RIGHT NOW.

But, I can start.

-I am spending at least 25 minutes on the elliptical daily. I am slowly making my way to a whole foods diet (I mean, really...have you any clue how hard it is?!).

-God is reminding me that all the money is really His anyway.

-We are increasing the amount we give and it will be consistent and deliberate.

The numbers are saying my goals will not be reached by the set date.

My faith is hoping it will.

So, why am I doing this?

Because I have to believe there is something better.

Because I know without a doubt that my calling requires freedom.

I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.-Psalm 119:45